Philosophical Pup

The strongest puppy love I have ever felt so far was in my junior year of high school. I was head over heels for this older man who my friends and I nicknamed “Husband” out of pure silliness. Despite the giggles and butterflies this man ,unbeknownst to him, gave me a safe haven and at the same time silently encouraged me to question the ideas and ideals I did when I spoke to him.

   Upon reflection it is amusing at how hopelessly enthralled I had been with “Husband”. A simply glance had my heart fluttering, cheeks flushing and my palms nervously wet. My day brightened simply when I saw him and my friends teased me mercilessly about my particular choice in crush. But I cared not for he was the apple of my eye though in his mind I was no doubt not even a passing thought. Regardless he was kind enough to let me reside in his room as often as I needed so I could finish my homework. This was often my arch nemesis called math.

I not only avoided procrastinating and likely not doing my math homework, but came to find a soothing comfort in his room. He often bustled in and out or did his work with quiet concentration that I never felt that I needed to be quiet, but nor was there a compulsion to nervously make idle chatter. A sense of comfortable silence blanketed the room and it was something I had not experienced before. It had always been a mystery to me how two people could sit in silence and not feel compelled to say something to one another, but I had found this comfortable silence and with it a sense of contentment. He did his work and I did mine and it was one of the most beautiful and comforting sensation I’d ever known; this expectation of nothing but gentle quietness.

   It was because of this ease I felt around the apple of my eye I felt I could speak my thoughts to him. I was further encouraged at how polite and respectful he was towards my developing and uncertain ideas and opinions about a range of topics I had just begun to discover. A couple of times the philosophical questions I inquired to him about prodded him to truly ponder over what I had asked of him. It was exciting to me to see my idol truly take the time to listen and consider what I spoke to him about. “Husband” took me seriously and for that I would constantly thank him. For though “the original incentive was gone, I continued…Having savored the heady wine of knowledge, I could not now alter my course.” (334). Even when I was no longer in his presence I continued to ponder further the meanings and workings behind daily life and the customs and ideals our American society had taken on as norms.

   And just like our society changed over the decades so dimmed the heat of my infatuation for my crush. I still cherished the quiet, safe company of him, but more than that I was thankful for the questioning thoughts he had allowed me to speak without fright of scorn. Even if he secretly viewed my inquires as pointless he was kind enough to pretend to take me seriously. It is for that I would always hold a tiny flame for the man who encouraged my idle philosophical questions and taught me that silence could indeed be both a comfort and a companion.