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"Just sleep, just sleep." Gerard crooned to Mikey as his brother curled up to him, his left arm wrapped around Gee's chest, his left leg thrown over his older brother's. Gerard could feel the trembles that came over Mikey in short bursts making his brother's teeth chatter. "It's alright, nothing's wrong just sleep and you'll feel better." He murmured stroking his fingers through his brother's brown and blonde streaked hair.
"I'm so scared Gerard." Mikey sobbed hugging his brother tighter, his desperation felt in the way he clenched his brother's PJ shirt.
"What about?" was the question
"Death. It scares me so much to think that there's nothing after this life. That no matter what we're all going to die and how we'll eventually be forgotten." Mikey explained and when he had finished Gerard could feel him inhaling and exhaling careful big breaths to calm his wild panicking heart, the trembling that had started up a new making his body tremble all the harder.
Gerard knew death was an especially terrifying subject for Mikey because he had proclaimed himself an atheist a few years back.
"Then you've gotta live for today Mikey, there's no other way. You can't live your life in fear you'll be wasting it, and I can't say if there's a God or not but you can't just focus on death. Do every fucking thing you can so that when you lay down in bed you can look over the day and smile." He comforted, glad that Mikey's trembling had faded to only an involuntary twitch every couple of minutes or so as his brother took deep cleansing breaths concentrating on what Gerard had told him.
"I'm so scared Gerard." Mikey sobbed hugging his brother tighter, his desperation felt in the way he clenched his brother's PJ shirt.
"What about?" was the question
"Death. It scares me so much to think that there's nothing after this life. That no matter what we're all going to die and how we'll eventually be forgotten." Mikey explained and when he had finished Gerard could feel him inhaling and exhaling careful big breaths to calm his wild panicking heart, the trembling that had started up a new making his body tremble all the harder.
Gerard knew death was an especially terrifying subject for Mikey because he had proclaimed himself an atheist a few years back.
"Then you've gotta live for today Mikey, there's no other way. You can't live your life in fear you'll be wasting it, and I can't say if there's a God or not but you can't just focus on death. Do every fucking thing you can so that when you lay down in bed you can look over the day and smile." He comforted, glad that Mikey's trembling had faded to only an involuntary twitch every couple of minutes or so as his brother took deep cleansing breaths concentrating on what Gerard had told him.
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I've been having some bad anxiety for the past week and I was finally brave enough to examine why I was staying up for all hours not wanting to sleep. And it's because I'm afraid of death and dying in my sleep. So I decided to pour that fear out onto paper and though it still frightens me I'm going to work on not letting this stupid anxiety keep me up till all hours, I need to sleep!
So anyways here's a depressingly scary story
So anyways here's a depressingly scary story
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I went into a very deep depression on this subject two years ago. The concept of death has always frightened me, and forced me from being an optimist to a pessimist for a period of time. There was a point where I would cry every single day for two weeks. But I never told anyone why I cried. then again, I had been rather hormonal then, so that's probably what magnified my fear and anxiety. But now I use my colder sense of the world to keep myself from harm. I use it to force myself to be strong.